How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
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