I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
