Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
