2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
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