I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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