I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
