haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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