um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
