There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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