Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
