dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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