she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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