Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
