So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
