there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
