so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Tell her she can't have a vagina
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
