I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
