There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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