It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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