I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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