We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
