the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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