there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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