Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
