Don't you send me to vm
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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