was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
there is puke in my bra ... again
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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