ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
