I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
