Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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