There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
