I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
