we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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