dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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