So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Bang-toberfest begins!!
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
