tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
