am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
