Well douche your snatch and let's go!
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
