i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
