You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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