That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize