It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
