Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
