I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
