who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
