I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
