i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
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