TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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