If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize