Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
