This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
