kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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