I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
