what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
