So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize