I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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