I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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